why
why is it that we misinterpret each other so much
that we have so many misunderstandings
why cant you believe everything that i said?
why do u think that i expect so much more from you?
how many times must i tell you?
what must i do to prove to you?
it doesnt matter anymore how i feel about you
it never mattered to you from the start
why should it matter now?
nothing is going to happen. nothing can.
i am just not ready.
and my life is so unsettled i dont even know where i'll be.

you said that all the reasons i gave were not valid.
because you are not the one who was being pushed away.
i tried so hard to reach out and to care for you.
but all you did was just kick me aside because you had someone new in your life.
you probably thought all the arguments and unhappiness was pure jealousy.
but what was i to do?
i was so lost. everything happened so rapidly i just couldnt comprehen any of it.
the feeling of being flung off just hit me harder and harder as the weeks went by.
disappearing just seemed like the most right thing to do for me at that time.
then i wouldnt have to be your emotional blackmail and all those that you said i was.
and it upsetted me so much when i knew that you thought what i was doing was out of rage.
despite all the talks and confrontations we've had you still dont fully understand.
you always think that i am over-reacting.
would i over-react if that is not the feeling i get from you?

all i want to do is just show love and care for you and to be there for you.
i just want you to be happy. even now.
i dont care if it is in return. i never did before.
but why do you make all that i want to do sound so wrong?
as if it was a big crime?

i am still lost.
how are we going to pick it up from here?

thank you for wanting to be honest with me.
but why is it that there are still so many things that you cant tell me?


hmm
i wish the portion of my brain gets chopped off.
sigh..


hmm..
busy weekend..
friday went shopping in bugis with heidi at night...
walked around..
bought stuff! i got my new wallet=)) heh and bought some other stuff..
and we ate at bugis at some shop.. really good!! heh
i am craving for steamboat now.....
then heidi stayed over..

sat..
went crescent speech day and funfair..
hang ard for about 3 hrs..
then went alexander village to eat..
and walked ard queensway..
was supposed to go out with candy jamie suzie to beach read and meet rachel and heidi for dinner at night..
but i got so pissed off with my dad..
he DEMANDED that i be home at 3pm when it was already 2++pm!
TSK so i got so angry i cabbed home.
TSKKKKKKKKK argh.
and i didnt go out the whole night.. tho penny asked me to go supper and edward also asked me to go supper..
in the end rachel and heidi and edward came over..
watched movies and desperate housewives til 4am..
heidi and i couldnt ta han anymore so we went to sleep..
the 2 of them watched all the way til morning..

sun..
church..
jp..
went to rachel's new dorm room...
slept there for 2 hrs ++
went home after shopping for groceries at j8..
stayed over at heidi's...
i was going crazy and laughing hysterically at nothing and singing to the 10mins+ leo koo song.. and then i think the virus spreaded and then daisy and heidi and i were all singing.. hah

oooh hah i got full marks for mechanics test!
i did the whole qn myself k!! hah
oh no bio test!!
the carcinogen is polyacryLAMIDE i wrote polyacryLIDE.. sigh i knew it was sth along that line.....


oh man i have mechanics test tmr i cant find my textbook!!!
whoever borrowed it should sit for my test!!!!

i'm so proud of my darling christopher tham!! he got into nus med!!!
hoho he rocks!!!


ooh munyuk's going off to US!! so happy for her..!!
she's always wanted that.. and now she's off soon!!! =)))))


okays..
hmm fridae after school..
went starbucks with chris to wait for penny..
then went to her place..
sat there the whole afternoon slacking and talking...
then went parkway to meet daisy heidi linjun and liu cong..
sushi buffet!! haha
walked ard parkway then went home....

yesterdae..
went town to meet penny.. chris and malik were there too..
then back to penny's..
sat ard while penny got ready..
then daphne came.. dressed her up..
and we cabbed to hard rock..
alex's party..
haha alex was like dancing half the time..
and they were all sucking helium balloons the whole time.. think the waitor guy got all the balloons ard the cafe for them..
after the party we went to boat quay..
hmm..


what a great start to a day..
thank god..
din even realised i lost my wallet..
got tis call frm a lady at the dbs holland v branch..
the no. was shown as withheld.. so i figured it was jamie making some prank call early in the morning about me losing my wallet or pretending to be someone else..
the lady sounded so serious so i went to check for my wallet and realised it was really lost..
luckily my 1st 2 periods are free periods then ms loh gaf me permission to go out to get my wallet...
i just called the lady who found it.. =))
thank god=)


over the mountains and the seas
your river runs with love for me
and i will open up my heart
let the healer set me free
i'm happy to be in the truth
and i will daily lift my hands
i will always sing of when your love came down


recap..

fridae..
mr peh wasnt in school..
so no pe for the last 2 periods.
left school early...
went walk ard holland v with kai..
bot presents..
went home..
stoned for a while..
went to sleep..
tot i was gonna be late so cabbed down to town..
met sab heidi and daisy..
ate at lido.. sat ard and toked...
walked ard.. and then stayed over at heidi and daisy's

sat..
vietnamese new students.. so brought them on a tour..
went ard like almost the whole singapore... until the evening..
met brenda jamie candy audrey for dinner at swensens! hehe
oooh and the earrings rock!!!! [thanks brenda]
and the present rocks la!!! thank you soo much!!
then watched a lot like love..
the show was okay... but i still think some parts of it doesnt make sense..
if they say like tat then if i go china and study for 5 yrs then i will lost complete contact with all my frens in singapore for 5 yrs then suddenly come in contact again?

and sighz everyone's arguing and getting irritated with one another..

hai i really dunno how to talk to you anymore..
to you it means nothing because you never felt anything at all..


sigh


just had a conversation with my dad..
sighs..
me: hai u r going back tmr again...
dad: ya.. if dun go back where will the money come from?
me: -sighs- why cant i go china now?
dad: go china u study where? ur jc how?
me: go yew chung international la.. just opposite our home only wat..
dad: you only haf one and a half yrs left here.. u dun think so much la.. very fast u'll finish here..


sigh
dad is going back tomorrow..
although i am a little more free without him..
thinking of all the packed food i'm going to haf to eat and the empty house i haf to return to is quite upsetting...
hai wateva
i'm INDEPENDENT..
will take care of myself


thank you=)))))))))))
thank you for all the messages.. gifts and fone calls!=)
thank you jamie candy brenda shiyun zhenni winston starsky penny mel esther alex thio sugi kai daphne manav iain hughlyn waileong natt chris shun kathi sarina kuanchin hongxiang mingjie joshua huayshan yaozhen alex tan edward heidi daisy sabrina yewei.. oh man i got so many people to thank.. if i left u out pls forgive me but thank you!!!!!!!!!!!=))))
so touched hongxiang called me from australia!!! he called me like 5 times but i didnt pick up.. hehe pai seh...


you wait little girl..
on an empty stage..
for fate to turn the light on..

you life little girl..
is an empty page..
that men will want to write on..

to write on....

you are 16 going on 17..
baby its time to think..
better beware..
be canny and careful..
baby you're on the brink..

you are 16 going on 17..
fellows will fall in line..
eager young lads..
and grueways and cads ..
will offer you fruit and wine..
totally unprepared are you..
to face a world of men..
timid and shy and scared are you ..
of things beyond your ken..
you need someone..
older and wiser..
telling you what to do..
I am 17 going on 18 ..
I'll take care of you..

i am 16 going on 17
i know that i'm naive
fellows i meet may tell me i'm sweet
and willingly i believe

i am 16 going on 17
innocent as a rose
bachelor dandies
drinkers of brandies
what do i know of those

totally unprepared am i
to face a world of men
timid and shy and scared am i
of things beyond my ken

i need someone older and wiser
telling me wat to do
you are 17 going on 18
i'll depend on you


BRENDA'S SELLING EARRINGS ONLINE!!!!
THEY'RE HANDMADE SPECIALLY BY HER AND THEY'RE REALLY PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO PROUD OF HER!!!!!!

PLEASE GO CHECK THE EARRINGS OUT AT...
www.livejournal.com/users/vanillabutter


I’ve never been in love before
Now all at once it’s you
It’s you forever more

I’ve never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score

But this is wine
That’s all too strange and strong
I’m full of foolish song
And out my song must pour

So please forgive this helpless haze I’m in
I’ve really never been in love before


went out with heidi and sab todae..
ate kenny rogers at suntec =)
sat ard and chatted..
then after that went to esplanade park there to look for yy to get sum stuff..
there was some dragon boat race..
cabbed to oldham hall cz sab had to get sth for heidi..
after tat went to orchard..
sat at taka coffee bean and talked cz all of us werent realli in the shopping mood..

hahahaha
i just realised my dad has a talent for cold jokes..
now he's imitating tis women on the cancer charity show..
hilarious
hahahahaha


if i speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, i am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. and if i have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if i have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, i am nothing. if i give away everything i own, and if i hand my body over so that i may boast but do not have love, i gain nothing.

love is patient, love is kind. it is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interest, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

corinthians 13


yay tmr i am going suntec with heidi dz sab!! hafen went out with them for so long..

okieeee recap..=)

yesterdae..
sch..
tis mr lim is damn bad to me leh.. he everytime make fun of me during physics leh..
i said i cldnt see the projector image frm my seat.. then he purposely 'okay for konglam's sake....' then he go and enlarge the image..
i was talking abt that i told the new chem teacher tat he did the 'oh realli konglam u haf a brain' thingy.. and mr lim asked.. 'oh so was she surprised that u had a brain!??'
wah he everydae make fun of me...................>,<

after sch went to meet jamie at holland v.. got the present.. then waited for chris and kai and went with them to eat.. and came home..

todae..
mr josef's wedding in the morning..
jamie brenda suzie candy and i met at j8 to eat breakfast at coffee bean..
the wedding was supposed to start at 9 and we got on the cab at 855..
made it there right on time..
saw qiqi!!!!
haha she kept making funny faces during the ceremony.. hilarious..
she said she was gonna snatch the bouquet then gif it to me..

after the wedding we went to j8..
ate haagen daz cz i had 20bucks voucher..
fonche..=))


oooh new comp!!!!!!!!
thanks to dad!!!!!!!!
haha vaio t37!!! =)))))
love it!
wheeeeeeeeeeee

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